A letter from a child whose mum is affected by cancer!
A parent’s illness is one of the most difficult challenges a child can face. Life at home change overnight and nothing is the same anymore!

  • Don’t lie to me or protect me – I need to know the truth so I can trust you when you say ‘you are fine’!
  • Don’t leave me out – I need to be involved in the family discussion, talk to me, and include me!
  • Please communicate – I hear everything anyway and I don’t like to figure things out myself since I might get it wrong – talk to me!
  • Don’t hide your feelings by sending a different body signal than how you feel – it confuses me when I have to second guess how you really feel!
  • Give me special time every day – so I know you still love me and don’t feel alone.
  • Take time to listen to me – so I don’t have to worry alone. Allow me to express my worry and sadness and talk to you openly.
  • Speak simply and clearly – I don’t need to know everything in details, so please use a simple and factual language without looong explanations!
  • Create shared happy moments – yes life is hard right not but let’s create meaningful and positive activities together
  • Support normality in our life – I need routines so I feel safe.
  • Don’t spoil me or make excuses for my behaviour – I need to know that I am still worthy of discipline and rules.
  • Make me feel needed and valued – I can do so much more than you think; I can bring you tea, have chores to ease your burden.
  • Don’t force yourself to be with me ALL the time – I would rather you spend time with other adults than feeling like a burden to you when you are tired. Get some rest so we can spend some meaningful moments together that we will both enjoy
  • It is Ok to cry with me – so I can cry too!
  • Respect if I don’t want to talk – sometimes I just need to think, but still be with me!

From your child


Good luck

Mette Theilmann

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