Other topics I cover:
Positive parenting during separation
Parenting can be tough, but parenting before, during and after a separation brings parenting to a whole different level. Separation is one of the most stressful things that a family can go through and often causes friction between you, your children, other family members or friends. Having worked very closely with family solicitors for the last 3 years I can support you and your family through this challenging time with the least negative impact.
Connect instead of correct
Connection is at the heart of all good parenting. You might feel that due to too many conflicts and battles in your home you have lost the ‘connection’ or positive relationship with your kids, your partner and yourself. Through coaching I help you connect with your family through the 4 simple but powerful Rs: Rules, Routine, Responsibilities & Relationship. Together these will help you restore the balance when family life has got a bit out of control.
Managing your own (and family) health
Managing your / your family’s health & well-being can seem like a mammoth task at times. And especially in this information age where we are bombarded with daily, often conflicting, advice about what we should and shouldn’t do in order to stay healthy, happy and well. It can be so confusing to know what to do and where to start. Things Take Time. Managing a healthy lifestyle does take a bit of effort. Particularly in the beginning when we might have to change old habits in order to create new ones. I will help guide you on a new journey towards a healthier lifestyle that suits you, and above all is manageable, with a structure to help you succeed. I will support you to set achievable and realistic goals and explore what is holding you back and why. And then the fun starts: how to get there, with lots of practical steps, new fun food recipes and a change of mindset.
Special Needs Children
Sometimes family life doesn’t work out the way we thought it would and have planned. I can for sure talk about myself. I never ‘planned’ to have special needs children and when I did I struggled.
Let’s face it, SEN parents are awesome!
If you are a parent of a child with any special needs then I am here to support you with our 3 step guide to SEN parenting.
1. Relationships & Connection: depending on the need your child it can sometimes be hard to play, interact or have time to spend quality time with our child. I help you find ‘your thing’ that will glue you together and for a little while forget the struggles and just focus on connecting as parent and child! Furthermore, you are now a ‘special needs family’, by this I mean when one family member struggles and have challenges the family as a whole is effect and therefor equally need attention and support to feel hear, understood and function under the given circumstances.
2. Let go of what is ‘normal and ‘should be’: use your common sense and parenting instinct. When I had children with special needs I had to let go of all that was ‘normal’ and ‘should be’ and start being a bit flexible in my way of doing, dreaming and hoping! Let me help you see your situation for what it is and set realistic and positive expectation to your self and each family member!
3. Stay positive: Try not to be affected by all the things your child cannot do and might never will do – but instead focus on all that he/she CAN do. Our children are SO interesting and unique, once we allow this to shine through we can truly enjoy them and allow them to be who they are meant to be!
Parenting as a Team
Most parents have argued at some point over how to raise their children. This is normal because we all bring different values, backgrounds and expectations to the relationship. These differences can often cause tension and frustration between parents. It is ok to have different views and it is ok to agree to disagree. But it is NOT ok to involve the children, bring the tension into the home or make them sit in the middle of adult conflicts. These disagreements are not good for the children to experience, they might start viewing themselves as the cause of the arguments, blaming themselves or start using the situation as a ‘tool’ to get what they want. Through coaching I support you to put forward your frustrations in a measured way, listen to each other’s views, set joint agreed goals and move forward together in a way that you are both comfortable with that suits your family life.
Angry feelings that can hold you back from being the parent you want to be
When we lose our temper, yell or tell our kids off we might feel stronger in the moment but essentially we have given away our power! We have ‘lost it’! Through coaching we will look at how we can maintain control of our own feelings and behaviour (we can’t and shouldn’t control anyone other than ourselves) and respond in a measured (not impulsive) way whereby we can be proud of ourselves and act as a good role-model.
Creating time for yourself
Family life gets busy and it is so easy to put ourselves at the bottom of the ‘care’ list and attend to others’ needs first. But we might be at risk of running ourselves down which means we have less energy and time to attend to our family when they really need us. I help you to create time and tools that will energise you and make you feel more than ‘just’ being mum or dad: Self-care is the best care, not a luxury!
Say NO and set effective limits
Consequences can be so hard to implement when we have a defiant child and we are living life at 100 miles an hour. We might end up reacting aggressively or unfairly which makes us feel guilty later on, or stop us from saying NO altogether for fear of further battles and difficult feelings to manage. But saying NO and setting limits effectively is a sign of love. You are telling your child, ‘I love you too much to behave like that!’, ‘You are worthy of my time and discipline!’ and so on. Being able to say NO and set limits in an appropriate way makes us safe company to be with and creates a sense of safety and order in your home.
Helping families abroad
It can be an amazing experience to live abroad with your children. To learn a different culture and language can be an opportunity to teach our kids so many valuable things about life, people, culture and languages. But it also comes with challenges. If you and your partner also have different cultural backgrounds and languages then it might need a bit of planning.
You are your kids biggest role model if you enjoy the processleading up to your move abroad, it is likely that your children will be positive about it too. The years spent overseas should be an invaluable and fulfilling experience for all family members, and this is more likely to happen if you communicate well about the changes to come, plan ahead and work together.
Cultural Family life>
Furthermore, I offer support to families where mum and dad have different nationalities and may even be living in an Expat environment. Kids are amazing and can learn and adapt to so much as long as they feel safe and prepared.
I have lived in Belgium, China and London with my 3 kids. They speak English to their Dad and Danish to me. In Brussels they went to a Belgian school and spoke French. In China they went to a Chinese school and spoke Mandarin. They have a strong cultural identity with both my husband’s country and mine, and with the one they live in.